by Kim McDougal
“So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them.” – Genesis 1:27 (AMP)
This is my confession. I hope by my sharing this that someone else who struggles with this or feels like I do at times will be encouraged. To make a long story short, I’ve struggled with low self-esteem most of my life and it crept into my Christian walk as well. I found out at age 18 that my birth was the result of my mother and father having an affair. It’s the story of the woman wishing the man she loves would divorce his wife and marry her and adopt their baby girl. But like so many of these incidents, the outcome was anything but. As a result, I thought I wasn’t “planned” or “wanted”. The next few years of my life would be spent on a self-destructive cycle of bad decisions oftentimes leading to my life in danger. YET…in all that, God never let me get too far away. And many years later, I’m still here. However, I know that the low self-esteem is coming from me still believing I’m a mistake. Now, let me tell you what God said to me when I prayed to Him just recently about all this. He said, “You think you are a mistake, but however you came to be on this earth, I can work in you and through you. I can make your life full. You don’t have to feel this way, you can do so many things in life with me there.” Then I read our scripture today. I’m made in the likeness of God. The circumstances of my birth doesn’t change God’s word that I’m important to Him. You are too.
God loves me, it’s simple as that. I would ask questions like, “why am I here?”, “why was I born this way?”, “will anyone ever want me?” The answers to these are in the Lord. And as I see the gifts He has given me, I know that He has a purpose for me and I do not have to feel confident 100% in me, I can be confident 100% in Him. I don’t have to feel inadequate or that I don’t measure up, because in the Lord I am complete. He wants me to put my hands in His and allow Him to lead me everyday. Whatever I do for Him, He will equip me. He will stand me up and be my Father on earth and in Heaven. And God is so good that He repaired my relationship with my Mom before she passed away. We became best friends. So, what do I do when those nasty feelings come up? I cast them back to the foot of Christ. In Him, I am complete and I don’t need to EVER feel again that I am a mistake. You are not a mistake either. God has a plan for every life no matter how we were born. Let Him do in you today what you cannot do for yourself. Let Him not only be your Daddy, let Him be your God.